🦉 Doing the hard thing
Hey, happy Monday. Welcome to another week of the GameMakers newsletter!
Every Monday, I will write about a philosophy, insight, or principle I believe maximizes the chances for successful project outcomes or helps bring insight to a particular business problem.
I hope to help facilitate difficult discussions that will help your game studio or team succeed.
Let me know what you think in the comments!
Doing the hard thing
It’s so easy to say.
It is so fucking easy to say.
“Just do [the hard thing].”
Easy right?
Yet, how many of us actually do the hard thing?
This is why startups can often win over big, established companies. It’s because, more often at startups, the stakes are high. Only when the stakes are high enough and the sacrifice so painful are we finally forced to do the hard thing.
What is the hard thing?
It’s a critical but very uncomfortable problem we have to deal with. It’s the angry leader who made a terrible decision but whom everyone is too afraid to contradict. It’s a potential product-killing issue we need to have a hard conversation about. It’s the friendly but poor-performing person who needs to be let go.
In short, it’s the big, fat elephant in the room no one wants to talk about.
At your company, do you address major problems or do many problems remain unresolved and ignored because it’s uncomfortable?
In many, perhaps even most, companies, people avoid doing the hard thing all too often.
Over my career, I have seen these all too common situations time and time again from employees and even leaders of most companies I have interacted with:
Root causes for not doing the hard thing
Based on my years of experience, these all too common potentially project-killing situations often do not get addressed for three primary reasons:
1. Not my problem
At many companies, it’s most often the case that people know about major problems but don’t feel it is their responsibility to address the issue.
This is especially common with the type of employees working at large, established companies.
Do you have owners (or Shepherds would be even better), or do you have hired hands (or worse, quiet quitters)?
For large, established, and scaled companies, the specific individual contribution of any individual employee doesn’t matter so much. Further, most processes and practices have largely been figured out. Hence, you often see this kind of attitude at these companies, and it mainly works out fine.
“This isn’t my issue; this is Bill’s problem. He should deal with it.”
Why get involved and potentially cause a political conflict with Sally? This could lead to hurt feelings and someone in the company turning against you because you raised a problem that made Sally look bad.
Also, at some companies, making someone “feel bad” could lead to you being labeled as “toxic” or “not a team player.”
Show me the incentives, and I’ll show you the outcome.
If you have a dumb incentive system, you get dumb outcomes.
- Charlie Munger
Why would anyone risk their comfortable job making good money for little work by trying to do the hard thing? It’s just not worth it.
At small startups, however, every person’s contribution may be important and critical to the success of a project’s outcome. For startups, having a hired hand vs. an owner or shepherd can mean the difference between success and failure.
Here, you need people who care and who can raise issues and problems in a safe environment. In my view, I would hope all companies, even large, established ones, could achieve this kind of environment. However, in practical reality, this is most often not the case.
2. Hiding fault
“Whoops, I screwed up,” you realize as you think about the potential implications to the project and your job.
Or you find out that one of your good friends at the company made a major mistake. Or you find out that an angry leader you are afraid of has made a major mistake.
So, the big question then becomes:
What are you going to do about it?
Let’s be real here. In the majority of cases, most people won’t do anything.
In many cases, the stakes aren’t big enough relative to the cost and potential backlash from doing the hard thing.
A related issue to hiding fault, and something I’ve experienced and am now acutely aware of, is the impact of shame for not doing the right thing.
Shame can often be the reason employees hide fault.
Two years ago, I was at Voyager cafe, a coffee shop, in Santa Clara, meeting with my friend, let’s call him Tommy. Actually, that’s his real name. Lol.
Tommy worked in India as a GM/head of product for one of India’s most successful gaming startups. We were discussing lessons learned from operating in India when Tommy described an important concept for me to be aware of.
“Indian people are proud,” he said. “One of the biggest lessons I learned was how some Indians feel about shame. It’s a little bit different from here. Some of these guys would rather miss a meeting or be penalized in a major way than be subject to admitting a mistake or feeling shame.”
In my experience, I think it goes further. I believe some employees would rather lose a job rather than be exposed to shame.
We used to have a section in our All Hands meetings called “coaching corner,” in which we pointed out mistakes employees made and how to fix those mistakes. The concept came from watching how football coaches operated some of their meetings and how they tried to improve their players.
During one of these meetings, I pointed out a mistake made by one of our previous HR managers. He had posted on LinkedIn openly calling out one of our job applicants and responding in a way that was rude and not consistent with our company values. The applicant had also treated the HR manager rudely, but we should not have responded in kind.
After “coaching corner,” he pulled me aside and was visibly upset. I had called out the mistake in front of the company, not in a mean way, but more to point out a mistake and explain how we should treat job applicants regardless of how they react to us.
When he pulled me aside, his heart was pounding, and his body was visibly shaking. The whole company already knew about his mistake; many had messaged me complaining about it. He said he needed to take time off and left the office right after our meeting.
In another situation, we had an extremely smart and talented employee. One of his main responsibilities was to track progress on a set of documentation that needed to be completed. He was extremely fearful of the lead for the team responsible for the documents. He assured me many times that he wasn’t fearful. He also assured me he was having hard conversations about any delays and that we were now on track.
In the end, audits discovered that all of the progress and hard discussions he was supposedly having with that lead never happened. He later wound up quitting.
Eventually, I learned he had complained to others that I had not protected him enough from that lead. I mean, it would’ve helped if he would’ve been honest that it was a problem. It’s difficult to predict I need to protect someone when that person is telling me it’s not an issue.
Shame.
In many people, there is an image of themselves they keep inside of their heads. That image helps them feel better about themselves.
Over my career, I have noticed that if you ever pierce that image that people have of themselves, that image that gives them their feeling of self-confidence and self-worth, it leads to massive emotional trauma for those people and extreme defensiveness.
Two questions often impact the way in which employees will hide or not hide fault in a company:
What are the consequences of admitting a mistake?
If employees are penalized or fired for admitting mistakes, they will not feel safe and likely will not admit any mistakes.
What mental model of self-value does someone hold?
Will admitting a mistake cause someone to pierce the image of themselves they hold. Some people view themselves as a work in progress and have high self-confidence in their current view of self-worth to not be bothered by mistakes made. They have an “iterative” view of themselves. Others will perceive admitting mistakes as a major breach of their view of self-worth. They have a finished or more “polished” view of themselves. They lack the view of themselves as a work-in-progress. They lack self-confidence and believe that piercing their current view of themselves amounts to an existential attack on their value and worthiness as a human.
3. Fear
Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
- Dune, Frank Herbert
In my experience, fear is the most common reason most people do not do the hard thing.
They are just unsure; unsure about the consequences, how difficult it will be, and whether any change will come despite being hard to fix.
There was a time when I was so socially awkward I had an extremely hard time talking to women. I felt insecure and extremely afraid. On a scale from 1 to 100, my fear index was 100. It didn’t matter the incentives or potential benefits; the fear was just too great.
Over time - and not something that I’m proud of - there eventually came a time when I would ask out 20+ women in one night for a date. And while I was mostly rejected, which should have made me even more fearful, I couldn’t care less. I had very little skill and literally 1 line that was about as bad as it gets: “Hey, what’s up?”
My point is that fear can be overcome.
“How are you able to date the women you date?” my sister once asked me. Lol. She was truly impressed.
Overcoming fear is extremely powerful!
Giving feedback, raising issues, and solving problems are like a muscle. The more you exercise and do, the better and stronger you get, and the less fear you feel.
The actor/singer/comedian Jamie Foxx discussed a useful exercise in overcoming fear.
Think about the question, “What’s on the other side of fear?”
In other words, think through what is causing you not to act. Are your fears founded in actual risk and bad consequences, or are you nervous for no real reason?
Often, the answer will be “Nothing. It’s often just in our head.”
So, what do you do?
We’ve all been there before. Be honest with yourself. There are likely many occasions where you have not done the hard thing.
When we don’t do the hard thing, there are consequences.
Time and opportunity are wasted. A project could fail, leading to wasted time and effort. There are financial and career implications. In many cases, everyone loses, or there may be someone protected and who wins in the short term, but eventually, everyone winds up a loser.
Before you let the next hard thing go with inaction, you should consider the impact of not doing the hard thing.
The Dickens Pattern
The self-help guru Tony Robbins has developed a very useful exercise in this context. The “Dickens Pattern” was named after Charles Dickens, who wrote the novella “A Christmas Carol.”
As many of us already know, in “A Christmas Carol,” Ebeneezer Scrooge is a character in the story visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future. These spirits show Ebeneezer the impact of his actions and thereby help Ebeneezer understand the true cost of his behavior.
Tony Robbins suggests we follow a similar exercise to address limiting beliefs or behavior.
You are aware of a major problem or issue that should be resolved at your company. This is the “hard thing.”
Find a quiet place to think. Close your eyes. Imagine how this problem has caused problems in the past and how it has been impacting you presently.
Now, think about how this problem will continue to impact your project, company, team, and you in the future. What are the consequences? How will you feel about your project, team, or company if the problem continues to persist? What is the cost to you? How do you feel about yourself, your energy, your relationships at your company, and your career because of inaction? How does this make you feel about yourself?
What is the cost of inaction?
It’s Your Fault
Few people like to accept blame. It’s so much easier to blame someone else for one of our own shortcomings. It’s a common defense mechanism.
While I’m not Christian, a couple of biblical verses I have read over and over come to mind in the context of assigning and accepting fault:
Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in their guilt.
- Leviticus 19:17
If you are aware of a problem but don’t say or do anything, you are also at fault.
Better are the wounds of a friend, then the deceitful kisses of an enemy.
- Proverbs 27:6
Many times, we misunderstand the person pointing out issues or problems with us. In our self-limiting desire to feel good about ourselves, we can mistake the intention of someone pointing out a way we can improve as an attack. Someone trying to help you improve is your friend, not your enemy.
What to do?
If you’re at a big, established company without a great environment for improvement and a culture of ensuring everyone “feels good,” maybe you shouldn’t do anything.
However, if you are at a startup where results and impact matter, doing the hard thing can make all the difference.
In this situation, you should consider three concepts to ensure people do the hard thing.
Incentives: At your company, think about what happens when someone tries “to do the right thing.” Do they get promoted or demoted? Praised or criticized? I think you will often find that the reality of many companies aggressively disincentivizes finding faults and fixing major problems.
Environment: Do employees feel safe raising major issues at the company or within a specific team? Is there an angry leader or manager who yells at people or punishes people behind the scenes for contradicting them? This happens a lot. And even at our company, we’ve had some teams where employees did not feel safe raising problems.
Hiring & Firing: What is your situational context? Are you an established team or company where everything is figured out, and all you need is someone to “turn the crank?” Or are you at a startup in a desperate race to product market fit and need problem solvers and shepherds to figure things out? What kind of people do you currently have? If it’s not the right kind of person, you’ll need to keep hiring and firing until you get it right.
Based on the above, leaders who can help dictate the environment for your team or company should restructure the environment.
If you are an employee without much power in your team or company, help facilitate the discussion. Show your manager or key leaders at your company this post.
Start the discussion and move towards determined optimism and becoming a problem-solver.